The Guidance Center is facilitating a series of class to help parents with divorce and custody.    When a relationship is ending, it is important to get help to help yourself and your children.    

Please remember this is a group/ education session run by the Guidance Center, please be aware that Allen Park Public Schools does not examine, determine, warrant or endorse the information on this group/sessions.  Use of this referral is voluntary and will not result in any liability against Allen Park Public Schools ​​

Kids are kids, they throw themselves on the ground, kicking and screaming.  This is just part of being a kid, a temper tantrum.
But what if it is not, what if it is a child's way to communicate their frustrations, their hurt, their worries. 

We are hearing more and more about kids who can not manage frustrations or disappointments.   And now, with the Stay at Home order, they are missing out on so many natural supports and regulation. 

Kids have temper tantrums, we handle it right?

Parents have tried time out, spanking, yelling, etc.  What if it keeps happening, what if it is not just a temper tantrum?

Jessica FLowers is a parenting coach with Conscious Discipline.  She says:

"So, here are my three “ah ha” moments inspired by that missing purple crayon. I hope my reflections help you in your journey of internalizing the powers and skills. You’ll see that they are related.

#1: WE CAN’T SHIELD CHILDREN FROM UPSET AND DISAPPOINTMENT.
​#2: BREATHE AND SET YOUR INTENTION BEFORE YOU START TALKING.
#3: BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITIES."


Take a break, from your stress, from the stressful moment.    Take a deep breath.  We are all feeling upset, stressed, calm, happy, at peace, frustrated and annoyed.  It is ok, these are hard times.  

When you stop and take a deep breath, then maybe you can help your child stop and let go.  

Try the Virtual Calming Place  (Tab to the left).  Distract yourself for 5 minutes,  Interrupt the stress thoughts and Manage the moment.  

Kids are feeling it too.  

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We have been out and about and seen this, the family is running errands and the child is occupied with a screen, this buys the parent a moment of peace, right?  The other day while at a restaurant, the parent was coloring the child's place mat and the child was watching a video on the cell phone.   I had to laugh, this seemed a little backwards.    Technology is making our lives more efficient and more complicated.  

When is it ok? When is it not?

There are new guidelines from American Academy of Pediatrics:

Among the AAP recommendations:

• For children younger than 18 months, avoid use of screen media other than video-chatting. Parents of children 18 to 24 months of age who want to introduce digital media should choose high-quality programming, and watch it with their children to help them understand what they're seeing.
• For children ages 2 to 5 years, limit screen use to 1 hour per day of high-quality programs. Parents should co-view media with children to help them understand what they are seeing and apply it to the world around them.
• For children ages 6 and older, place consistent limits on the time spent using media, and the types of media, and make sure media does not take the place of adequate sleep, physical activity and other behaviors essential to health. 
• Designate media-free times together, such as dinner or driving, as well as media-free locations at home, such as bedrooms.
• Have ongoing communication about online citizenship and safety, including treating others with respect online and offline.

 
Check out the Family Media Plan:
 https://www.healthychildren.org/English/media/Pages/default.aspx


​There are concerns that some kids are attachment issues with their devices, this next link talks about the problems that kids may be in a constant state of high arousal, due to always "being connected". 

An article from Victoria L. Dunckley, MD (Psychology Today) states:

"Both parents and clinicians may be “barking up the wrong tree.” That is, they’re trying to treat what looks like a textbook case of mental disorder, but failing to rule out and address the most common environmental cause of such symptoms—everyday use of electronics. Time and again, I’ve realized that regardless of whether there exists any “true” underlying diagnoses, successfully treating a child with mood dysregulation today requires methodically eliminating all electronics use for several weeks—an “electronics fast”—to allow the nervous system to “reset.”"      read the rest of the article here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-wealth/201508/screentime-is-making-kids-moody-crazy-and-lazy

Limits, clear expectations and rules are needed!  

If you don't believe us, just ask Siri or Alexa!

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